If And Only If

 

In the end, Bill wanted to be a hero. Unfortunately, he also turned out to be a dick.

Those are firemen. JSYK.

It's All Relative.

Why shame is an unnecessary facet of bad life choices
(original content of conversation has been altered to suit the purposes of
someone messing around with Paint).

Meta-meta

This sentence is self-referencing.

TTFN.

"Bye, table! Bye, chair! You have always been a lovely front door!"

Universal Solitude.

How often do you look back and think, "Man, I wish I had stayed home and surfed the internet?"

Deconstructive Criticism.

Or something like that. Infinite regression!

For the Love of Awesomeness.

Even if that doesn't happen, why not have awesome memories?